The Beach-Hater’s Guide to the Beach

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Everyone just loooooves the beach, don’t they? “I’m on vacation!” They chant. “It’s so relaxing!” They coo. “Wait, how did I get here? I was drinking in Northern Virginia last night!” They chortle. 

Good for them. 

There are others among us who feel the beach is nothing but an obstacle course of foot-blistering abrasion, pinchy sea spiders, stinging blobs, kamikaze boogie boards and tan moms in awkward bikinis. TAN MOMS.

It’s time for the rest of us to conquer the wayward trials of sun, sand, and surf that we face nearly every summer. For most of you, the beach is a vacation. But for others, it’s about survival.

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That time Mindy Kaling mentioned Hinge in a tweet, and our whole team melted into puddles of joy. We’re so excited that her awesome writers from The Mindy Project are on Hinge! This means there are now even more great people for our lovely L.A. Hingers to meet.
Check out our response here, and follow Hinge on Twitter! We’re really funny sometimes, we swear. Our moms said so. 

That time Mindy Kaling mentioned Hinge in a tweet, and our whole team melted into puddles of joy. We’re so excited that her awesome writers from The Mindy Project are on Hinge! This means there are now even more great people for our lovely L.A. Hingers to meet.

Check out our response here, and follow Hinge on Twitter! We’re really funny sometimes, we swear. Our moms said so. 

Names: Marisa D’Orsogna and Jimmy Hamalian
Jobs / Companies: Law Student at UPenn, J.P. Morgan
City: Philadelphia
Marisa, we see you’re a native Philly girl! You must know the inevitable cheesesteak question is coming, so lay it on us: who’s got your favorite and why is it so good?M: I’m not a cheesesteak expert, but if I’m craving one I’ll go to Jim’s on South Street. I prefer the roast pork sandwich from DiNic’s in Reading Terminal Market. I get it with sharp provolone and broccoli rabe. I promise it’s worth waiting in the long line.And Jimmy, you’re originally from Atlantic City. What’s the weirdest or craziest thing you’ve seen on the streets of AC?J: In the true spirit of “doing AC,” my good buddies Kyle, Parth, and I enjoyed a bit of crunk juice with Lil’ Jon during one of his residential gigs at Borgata’s club MurMur.So who made the first move on Hinge?M: I did. And I make sure he knew I was making an exception for him.J: She did. And the initiative was an impressive turn on ;)Did you have a memorable first date?M: Definitely. He was waiting for me outside my law school across the street from where we were having brunch because he expected I’d be studying for exams in the library. In reality I had been home changing my outfit six times before our date.J: It was fantastic! We did brunch at the White Dog Cafe in University City. We talked so long over bottomless mimosas that the waitress politely asked us to leave several times. I guess they were trying to shoo us out to set up for dinner at 4:37pm.What’s the weirdest or funniest quirk you’ve discovered about each other?M: Either how he holds his toothbrush (it’s bizarre) or that he laughs exactly like Seth Rogen when he’s been drinking.J: Marisa sends me the cutest snapchats of her 4-pound, fluffy pomeranian pup named Cherry, whom she always calls “Mah-Mah.” I also love that she is a grammar nerd and helped me correct this sentence three times.M: I guess he finds my type-A personality endearing. Favorite Philly thing to do in the summer that you can’t find anywhere else - go!M: My favorite thing about Philly in the summer is that it’s only an hour from some of the best beaches in the Northeast.J: If we aren’t at the shore, my favorite thing would be enjoying a Victory Summer Love Ale on the docks at Morgan’s Pier, staring at the stars and the Ben Franklin Bridge, and holding hands with my girl.Biggie or Tupac?M: Biggie. In high school I put up “inspirational” Biggie quotes on the walls of my rowing team’s workout room. I still have no idea if my teammates found them as motivational as I did.J: Biggie fo’ sho… and I love it when she calls me big poppa.

Names: Marisa D’Orsogna and Jimmy Hamalian

Jobs / Companies: Law Student at UPenn, J.P. Morgan

City: Philadelphia

Marisa, we see you’re a native Philly girl! You must know the inevitable cheesesteak question is coming, so lay it on us: who’s got your favorite and why is it so good?
M: I’m not a cheesesteak expert, but if I’m craving one I’ll go to Jim’s on South Street. I prefer the roast pork sandwich from DiNic’s in Reading Terminal Market. I get it with sharp provolone and broccoli rabe. I promise it’s worth waiting in the long line.

And Jimmy, you’re originally from Atlantic City. What’s the weirdest or craziest thing you’ve seen on the streets of AC?
J: In the true spirit of “doing AC,” my good buddies Kyle, Parth, and I enjoyed a bit of crunk juice with Lil’ Jon during one of his residential gigs at Borgata’s club MurMur.

So who made the first move on Hinge?
M: I did. And I make sure he knew I was making an exception for him.
J: She did. And the initiative was an impressive turn on ;)

Did you have a memorable first date?
M: Definitely. He was waiting for me outside my law school across the street from where we were having brunch because he expected I’d be studying for exams in the library. In reality I had been home changing my outfit six times before our date.
J: It was fantastic! We did brunch at the White Dog Cafe in University City. We talked so long over bottomless mimosas that the waitress politely asked us to leave several times. I guess they were trying to shoo us out to set up for dinner at 4:37pm.

What’s the weirdest or funniest quirk you’ve discovered about each other?
M: Either how he holds his toothbrush (it’s bizarre) or that he laughs exactly like Seth Rogen when he’s been drinking.
J: Marisa sends me the cutest snapchats of her 4-pound, fluffy pomeranian pup named Cherry, whom she always calls “Mah-Mah.” I also love that she is a grammar nerd and helped me correct this sentence three times.
M: I guess he finds my type-A personality endearing.
 
Favorite Philly thing to do in the summer that you can’t find anywhere else - go!
M: My favorite thing about Philly in the summer is that it’s only an hour from some of the best beaches in the Northeast.
J: If we aren’t at the shore, my favorite thing would be enjoying a Victory Summer Love Ale on the docks at Morgan’s Pier, staring at the stars and the Ben Franklin Bridge, and holding hands with my girl.

Biggie or Tupac?
M: Biggie. In high school I put up “inspirational” Biggie quotes on the walls of my rowing team’s workout room. I still have no idea if my teammates found them as motivational as I did.
J: Biggie fo’ sho… and I love it when she calls me big poppa.

Do you have a sad fridge?

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You guys! The battle for a work/life balance is REAL, and it’s been affecting our ability to cultivate our domestic sides. We love having people over, but with our nests struggling as of late, we decided to call on some intellectual experts from St. Ruggles Institute of Social Studies (part of Struggs University) to provide us with recipes for success.

Here are the top ways to polish your social reputation as a domestic god or goddess to a perfect shine, with minimal long-term commitment.

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Edible Firecrackers, Anyone?

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If you eat one thing this Independence Day, it should be these 3-step cupcakes (or as we’ve dubbed them, edible firecrackers). Easy, delicious, and guaranteed to make you the hit at any party. It’s win/win/win!

(Original recipe via Make Bake Celebrate)

What You’ll Need:

  • Your Favorite White Cupcakes (Hinge’s mix of choice is Funfetti, for obvious reasons)
  • Buttercream Frosting
  • Cherry Pop Rocks
  • Red, White, And Blue Sprinkles

Step 1: Using a small spoon, carve out a little spot on top of the cupcakes for the pop rocks. Keep the tops!

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Step 2: Fill each little spot with pop rocks. Then place the cupcake top back on.

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Step 3: Frost your cupcakes as usual and add sprinkles!

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Oh, and one more tip: maybe don’t serve these crackly little guys with Coke… we never figured out if that urban legend was true or not. Enjoy!

8 Birthday Beers for America

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The craft beer craze can make it challenging to navigate the beverage aisles, particularly with all the current summer seasonals. We’ve done you a solid and rounded up our personal favorite brews from across this great nation, perfect for partying on America’s birthday!

Plus, you know what they say… the way to a new friend’s heart is through sharing your delicious beer with them.

(We actually just made that up, but it’s usually true. Party on!)

Hingesight 05: Wedding Season Survival Guide

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Ah, we can hear it already: the tinkling chant of silverware on crystal, the gentle fluttering of matching chiffon dresses, and the raucous hooting of drunk bros, mashing into a dance circle that just won’t die… it could only mean one thing - wedding season is officially in full swing.

We suspect you’re attending an average of twelve weddings between now and Labor Day, for your old roommate, cousin, boyfriend’s sister, and/or preschool best friend who you once saved from controversial Big Wheels accident. Because we’ll take any excuse to talk social tips and celebrations, we’ve put together a guide to navigating the nuptial zoo.


1. Dress for success.

Assuming you’re not in the bridal party, you’ll want to wear something that stands out. Within reason, of course. But depending on how many ceremonies you have lined up, you may end up having to repeat dresses or suits. Swapping out accessories is key, so we went ahead and prowled the web for your convenience:

Ladies…

  • We’ve been told (very sternly, by every single sales clerk at White House/Black Market) that you can’t wear a white dress to a wedding, but we’ve gotten approval on these enchanting hair accessories.

  • Your giant, carry-all suitcase of a purse - that also potentially has about 25 sticky KIND bar wrappers and a bunch of crumpled up Chipotle napkins floating around in it - ain’t gonna fly. Step up your clutch game.

Gents…

  • Two words: pocket squares. And at a cool 8 bucks, you could even buy enough of them to sew into a homemade ascot, if you wanted to. Just a thought.

  • When you kick off your shoes to moonwalk, unleash your sock swagger with a pair of these bad boys

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2. Be the “fun” table.

Psst: you already ARE the fun table, you might just not know it yet. Every other table is going to gaze longingly at you guys, wishing they had a team captain who led them to wedding nirvana. So if you want your tablemates to boast your name at weddings for years to come, here’s how:

  • Announce that you’re the fun table - all it takes to get things started is pointing it out first.

  • Volunteer to fetch drinks for others, thereby initiating an group route to rowdiness.

  • Propose a contest to see who has the most outrageous story about the bride or groom. Loser has to wear their napkin like a pilgrim’s bonnet.

  • Blood pact. Or silly group toast. Take a poll to see which is more popular.


3. Just dance.

If you can dance, then go dance. If you can’t dance, then DEFINITELY go dance. Weddings are a sanctuary for the choreographically challenged - the more ridiculous your dance moves are, the more fun everyone has.

…What’s that? Our favorite moves? 

  • During ‘Shout’ when everyone’s the softest they can get, have a friend lie down and play dead. Start administering an air defibrillator, and as everyone starts getting “a little bit louder now,” your friend comes back to life - until they’re fully resurrected, and dancing like a maniac Lazarus.

  • This. 

These tips should help eliminate some of your serial-wedding-guest stress, and help you master every reception. In the sage words of the true wedding experts, there is really only one, universal rule for weddings, and that’s #76: No excuses. Play like a champion.

Hingesight 04: How To Be Approachable

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Fact: you are part of a socially-networked, mobile-optimized, hi-tech, low-emission, gluten-free world. So while living as slaves to our screens, when do those dream serendipitous meetings get a chance to happen? Don’t get us wrong, we’re not trying to have every Chuck, Jim, and Mary on the street interrupt us and come a-chatting, but unexpectedly meeting cool people is the best.

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Allons! These moments don’t have to be lost on the modern age! It’s all about giving new potential friends or dates an opportunity, so here’s how to be more approachable, every day.

1. Clothes speak louder than words.

Literally wear your heart on your sleeve - common experience is the easiest conversation starter ever. Remember that shirt you got at the Phish show last year? You know, the really heady one where Trey totally melted your face? Well friend, put that bad boy on, and you’ll quickly realize you weren’t the only blissed-out phan in attendance. And don’t forget your incomparably unique college experience that only your fellow alumni understand. Or your baffling life-long devotion to the Cleveland Browns. Next time you fetch groceries, go to the bank, hunt for your escaped cat, or retrieve takeout because you forgot you can’t cook anything worthwhile, throw on a garment that speaks to something you love - you may find yourself happily bonding with someone new.
 

2. Smiley face! 

If you suspect that your natural countenance could possibly be described as “venomous” or “glowering,” this is one to consider. We struggle with this ourselves - it’s usually unintentional, and only rarely because we’re in a murderous mood. But at the risk of sounding like a Disney princess sing-along, it’s surprising what a difference a smile can make. While acting like a cackling clown may scare others, maybe just try a slight upturn in mouth corners. Not only will it project an attractive positivity and optimism to others, but you’ll actually be happier and less stressed as well. 
 

3. Slow your roll.

Being a one-man stampede rarely leads to relaxed conversations. And sure, we’ve all been late for work and had to go full marathon for a few blocks. But this often goes beyond occasional tardiness, and becomes power-walking everywhere for no reason. Next time you walk somewhere (and don’t have a commitment), take a moment to admire some architecture. Peep a creative window display. Saunter through a farmer’s market. You might notice some other (potentially cute) people doing the same, because bottom line: no one’s going to chase you down to say hello. Unless they are actually chasing you down, in which case, probably go full marathon. 

4. Pet more pets.

This is something of an animal lover’s add-on to the previous advice, but we’ve seen it work a thousand times. While you’re strolling instead of sprinting, you may notice more fascinating beasts than usual - specifically, Canis lupus familiaris. Not only are dogs excellent companions and garbage disposals, but they’re the perfect vehicle for striking up a charming conversation with someone new. And actually, also the perfect vehicle for babies to ride around the house, which is something you could discuss with your new friend.

Eyes off the iPhones! Go forth and socialize.